Snow days...wth?

I hate it when it snows in the south...
I can't go anywhere, the roads are iced over. Like and i can't skateboard, so im stuck inside all secluded from the world. It sucks, man. Scheiss. I wanted to go hang out with my Halfmexi friend mark, and like go skate this weekend, but it snowed, and it may snow tomorrow too...wtf?I printed out some guitar tab so me and mark could try to play some shit. Yeah, snow fucks everything...and i can't go see Z today either, and she really needs me today. I feel lazy on days like this. It really gets to me, man. I want to hit stuff...XD...anyway see you guys(who the fuck am i talking to? i have no readers) later. Tchuss.

Drogen hat mich nicht gehabt.Jawohl!

~-6DN-~

Suck My Tail.

Don't you hate when you develop habits form your friends? Like not the cute little ones, the really terrible ones...It's weird how big of an impact people make on you when you're around them all the time...idk.Like Z always says "how's life" when she doesn't know what to say...well for that matter i say a lot of things that z says, now. I think it's weird, it's like losing a piece of yourself to that person...You just hear it, see it, or experience it in some way, then like "Bamm" you doing it too. Idk i don't mind the good things that Z does that i know do...but it's like i can't help myself but to do it. Also I've been living with my grandparents...and it's made me feel old too..like i take naps, and i eat old people food...I think it's like bad for my health...18 and acting like im 60....idk. It's a weird observation i noticed when i said "how's life" to someone when i didn't know what to say...Any way im Outie you guys.

Live hard, fuck soft.
~-6DN-~

Contradictions.

I realized that i am very contradictory.
Like my style and everything, you know clothes and shit.I wore my rosaries(not catholic btw), my skater beanie hanging off my head, this gangster hoodie, cammo shorts, hi-top vans, and my communist shirt. Its all contradictory to my genre of person...i mean like i would be categorized as skater, right, because i skateboard. Or you might call me punk because of my attitude, or emo because of my strong emotions. But i am not really that punk, or an emo kid. And as far as the shorts go, i in no way form or fashion redneck...so like yeah. It's kind of contradictory. Idk, i guess it makes sense if you look at it like, "Well, you're unique and you do have some qualities of all these types of people." But i don't feel that way about me...idk I guess i dress, think and act like 6DN. Nothing wrong with this i suppose.

The bible is fiction, respect.
~-6DN-~

double you tea eff

Getting bitched at for trying to figure shit out, thats the main theme of this post.
Don't you hate it when you are, honestly, trying to find out what you did or whats going on, then you get bitched out at? I don't get it, i mean i understand it can be annoying when you know something and someone else doesn't, but you don't have to go off on the person for asking...It's kind of like a teacher getting annoyed when a kid asks for help. Idk, but it just strikes me as odd. I mean when someone does that it gets the questioner pissed because they were just trying to figure out the answer, you know? It like gets to me. I just don't like people getting mad at me for it. If i ask you something, something i don't already know the answer to, just fucking tell me, dammit. It's not hard to answer that kind of shit. I think that if you're gonna be pissy with me, then you at least owe me an explanation. It's honestly whatever...i mean you're going to get mad at me eventually, why not let it be about something retarded right? Anyway, that's my post for right now...I hope im not the only one who feels like this,lol.

Think deep,
~-6DN-~

Slipped?

So i took some hydrocodone again. Three...just enough to try and forget what i read about myself today. Didn't make me too happy to read...im not going to say.
But like idk what i want o do about it...like im feeling the pills as i write this, so yeah idk, i may figure this out in about 20 minutes....who knows.That test makes me want to kill myself...idk i know i wont...but still cant shake the feeling of"hey look a razorblades". you know? I feel like no matter what i do i can never mold myself into the guy i want to be. The drugs and booze help me deal. They help so much, like i can pop some pills, smoke a bowl, or drink a pint of booze and feel better about looking disgusting. Why is it that people who have everything throw it away and people like me with nothing strive to achieve that state...so yeah. I hate who i am.

My sin makes me pure.
~-6Dn-~

Odd-days

Everyone has their odd-days.Where things feel so odd, they're unreal even? Yeah i had one today. It was like i was kind of expecting it, but never knew when exactly...Idk Z got upset with me and cried today. Long story short i was angry at this guy for slapping Z's ass, so i got angry and she thought i was angry and blamed her for the incident. Well, this was not so, as i was just pissed at him, and i never blame her for something that isn't her fault...So yeah, idk i felt it was gonna happen. Just really kind of waiting for it.Idk I love her tho, so i will do what i can to show her i love her and that she means everything to me.

ದಿ ಎಕ್ಷ್ತೆನ್ಸಿಒನ್

Scratch the whole "done for the day" crap. I want to write about this primarily because my buzz is gone and i dont have anymore weed to sustain my "happy" state. The state of mind i prefer to have rather than the stat of my mind currently....less stress.I like it, you know the drugs...my favorites are pills and pot now...no inhalants, or booze anymore...i was proud of myself i sold my bottle of liquor i had...bout a lot of pot with it tho.I smoked all my pot...idk i keep throwing up this acidic crap and its making my throat sore...idk why that's happening...just figured id say it...I haven't worked out since Thursday...i feel like shit about it...like im trying so hard to lose everything that i don't like about me and my life, and its tough, tough doing it the right way, you know not cheating...i could easily cheat, but i wont....Idk it's just something i struggle with, like my addictions...a struggle. Mein Kampfe. Yeah its the title of hitler's book, but i do know how to speak german...and i love jews...so yeah. Nie Wieder auch...

Also sprach die Tot.
-6DN-

dayone

I feel like im back to day one, going everywhere just to end up nowhere. It's like the world revolves in the opposite direction of my life. Take that how you feel. Doesn't really matter to me. I'm going to court next month, on the 18 for standing in from of a laundry mat, guilty by association. Criminal trespassing is what the cops call it, standing around is a huge crime now....living my life 2 days behind. I'm not really sure how im supposed to live my life at the moment, but i do know i want to spend it with her, for identity sake we'll call her "Z". I love Z, she is the greatest struggle in my life. A fight to not let things go wrong or awry. It's worth it as long as i can see her smile and love me with her eyes. With her i'm not just another guy, i'm her lover, her man, hers, period. She loves me alot, and i love her equally. Well i think this is it for me guys, im signing off for now.


Live long, love hard, laugh strong.
-6DN-

its late...

Well everyone it's pretty late, my buzz from the hydrocodone i popped is gone.I realize that when Z tells me"nothing" its like she knows it drives me fucking insane.
Like if it's something embarrassing, tell me(bc im your bf and u know i wouldn't tell anyone), if it's something i wouldn't like give me the nature of it and ill decide whether or not i wanna hear it, and if it's neither of those, then tell me why you cant tell me, and don't let me go all day or all night trying to figure out what it is...please...please don't do that...gets me agitated...It is like just as bad as lieing to me...you know not telling me, i can be killing someone and then someone txt me and ask, "What are you doing?", and i reply, "Nothing.". It's a lie. Whether Z means for it to be or not, she lies to me about what she is doing, with that "nothing" crap. I don't know, but i want to go to bed. I hat when Z gives me that then for some reason i can't control, i can't get the answer out of her...that's all i will be thinking about until she tells me. I think she knows it makes me feel like crap when i bug her about it. It annoys me to have to ask, then she will keep it dragged on, and by the time she tells me, it's either dumb as hell, not a big deal, or i feel like a jerk. This is like how these "Nothing" situations always go. I love Z to death, but she can drive me mad sometimes...eh.

Es ist mein Kampf.
xX~-6DN-~Xx